Our new Normal, for now

We’re adjusting to a new normal around here, three weeks post-move.  For up to the next 4-5 months the Hubs will be traveling to Orange County each week, leaving Monday afternoon and back Friday night.  It is far from ideal, BUT we absolutely knew and accepted that this was part of the deal to bring us back to STL before the baby arrives, so we’re taking it day by day, and week by week.  Thank goodness for daily Skype sessions!

M and C started a new preschool the week after we moved, two mornings a week, and the first day of drop-off was great – no tears, no freaking out.  I was quite impressed and a bit surprised too, given their history of difficult school transitions, C in particular.

The next school day was a very different story – started the night before with C declaring “I don’t want to go to school”, that she “doesn’t know anyone there” and that “they don’t know me.”  This escalated the next day to hysterical crying, shaking and an all around horrible experience at drop-off, which also drove her mama to tears.  When they were little I could tolerate crying, no problem.  But as they’ve grown up and they can tell us why they are upset, it just breaks my heart to see them like that, and in this instance, to see C so freaked and not wanting me to leave her.  So after that gut-wrenching morning, I introduced C to pinky promises.  Through her locking that sweet little finger with mine we’ve both agreed to try our best to not cry at preschool drop-off.  The school days that followed have been hit or miss, but we’re getting there.  I’m so thankful that my girls can and want to express why they feel the way they do  – helps us from having to wonder what the heck is going through their little minds and hearts.  My sensitive little C… please know that this is an adjustment for all of us, and that this too shall pass.

In addition to school days, we’re getting some solid play time with our cousins and spending time with family.  The girls had a play date with their cousin, Zalyn, the first of many I’m sure, and judging by the drive back home I’d say it was a successful afternoon:

We also recently joined the Hubs’ older brother and his family for brunch.  The girls were beyond excited to see their cousins over there and oh how I’ve missed the fabulous conversation that comes so naturally with my dear sister-in-law, Joy.  There also happened to be a lovely (and thankfully, tame) thunderstorm that rolled through early that afternoon… I couldn’t wait to stand outside, feel the temperature drop and watch mother nature do her thing.  You rarely get this in SoCal…

So we’re settling in pretty well… and of course it will all surely change yet again in August with a new baby and a new house, but for now we’re taking it all in.  And ending most days with good snuggles, well I have no complaints.

On the move, again

In less than two weeks we will be St. Louis residents once again.

We definitely expected and wanted to be out here in SoCal longer than just over a year, but all things happen for a reason and there are some very GOOD reasons that are bringing us back there.  Our 15-month “extended vacation”, as it was suggested to us, has afforded us the chance to grow independently as a family of four, on our own and without the usual “safety net” of backup family support to which we had grown so accustomed.  We really needed this time to explore opportunities that we would have otherwise never been presented with had we still been in St. Louis, doing the same-old, same-old kind of thing.

I’ve thankfully been able to experience life as a stay-at-home mom, through which I’ve conquered many fears of long days home alone with M and C and perfected the three-ring-circus logistical process of getting out and about with them on my own.  In a way I feel like I’ve somewhat made up for lost time with my girls, for the first two and half years of their lives when I only had a few precious non-sleeping hours each weekday and then tried to cram in all the quality moments over each weekend – and quite often started each Monday morning workday with tears.  I’ve witnessed many of their “firsts” over the past year – even captured a few with a photo or video – rather than reading about it on a daycare report or watching it via someone else’s impromptu video.  I’ve also finally figured out how I’m wired as a mother, the kind of mom I am capable of being and quite frankly also the kind of mom that I’m just not.  And I’m okay with that… REALLY okay with that.  My girls are smart, happy and independent (sometimes fiercely) and they get me.  And I’m happier and more comfortable in my own skin than I think I ever have been.

And now the true test: to go back home (because STL has always still felt like our home) and to maintain our dynamic, this rhythm that we’ve defined together, and to adapt and grow it through new adventures and welcoming our little boy into this family.  We know the timing of all of this will not be easy, as the coming months will also include weekly travel back out here for the Hubs and a temporary living situation as our new house is built, but we’re up for it and we know that in the long run this is the best decision for our all of us.

It just goes to show…

… that you should never doubt a mother’s intuition, because

Let’s hear it for THE BOY!!!

Oh yeah, I totally called this one, just like I did with the girls.  But more importantly, he’s healthy, measuring around 12 oz, and everything looks great!  Since we opted out of all genetic testing in the first trimester we were pretty anxious to see how everything looked with organs and fluids and such.  They checked for any physical indication (markers) for Downs Syndrome, all of which were normal, and spent a lot of time looking at the heart too.  It is so amazing to watch those four chambers pumping away… wow.  He’s becoming quite the active little bug too, which is such a relief to feel.

Every single day with this little guy is such a blessing.

For the record, he looks A LOT like his big sister C in this 3D shot.

How cute is this little foot?!

Party of FIVE

I’m not exactly sure why it’s taken me so long to share the news here, that we shared with family and friends a few weeks back.  I think I mostly attribute it to extreme fatigue (as I yawn while writing this…) and a healthy dose of screen time avoidance –

Yes, we’re expecting a new little munchkin to join our family in early August, due three days before M and C’s fourth birthday, to be exact.  I’m secretly hoping that the Little Bug, as I’ve taken to calling it, is just a wee bit early so that the girls’ birthday isn’t overshadowed by a new little sibling.  But when it comes down to it I’ll take a healthy baby arriving safely when it’s ready and meant to be, no matter on what date that happens to fall.

A few observations from these first (nearly) five months:

It’s an entirely different ballgame growing a small being while running around after two preschoolers.  I’m more tired and uncomfortable this time around, and by god I feel OLD.

They aren’t kidding when they say you start showing sooner and growing faster the second time around.  What little abdominal muscles I’d rebuilt after carrying the girls gave up the good fight just after New Years.

With age and the experience of a full-term twin pregnancy comes the wisdom to understand that it will all (generally) go back into place someday.  So there’s really no point in over-thinking it once you can’t see your feet anymore.

The term “advanced maternal age” (over 35) officially sucks a**.  That and all the genetic testing speak and fear that is laid upon you early on about all the things that could be wrong with your baby.  I get that it’s a reality, and very important but man oh man it’s emotionally draining.

When you are pregnant with twins, the whole world freely asks you the very personal question of how you got there, i.e., IVF/infertility treatment, “does it run in your families”, etc.  Given our history, I was honest in answering that question about that with the girls, but kept it brief.  But the next time you get knocked up, it’s like the white elephant in the room.  A few nosey brave souls flat out ask if you had to go through it all again to get pregnant, but generally everyone else just sort of looks you over like “did they or didn’t they”.  Newsflash people – if you’re family or a close friend I don’t mind if you ask me, and I’ll give you the high-level scoop.  But if you don’t fall into that category, it’s none of your damn business.  Please and thanks!

[Stepping off of my soapbox now…]

We go in for the big ultrasound tomorrow (or today, as it will be by the time this post is published).  My money is on blue, and has been from the start.  The Hubs is hoping I’m right, and has thrown in a few awesome male anatomy jokes here and there.  But we’re just praying for healthy and thriving, boy or girl – we signed on for this and we accept and love this baby we have been blessed with, no matter what else comes with it all.

Our twelve days of STL Christmas

Considering it’s been a month now since we were back in the midwest for the holidays, I figured it was time to get off my arse and post these photos.  As I begin to write this, C is currently asleep next to me on the sofa and M is running laps around the playroom, flitting from one thing to the next.  This is what life looks like around here at 4:30pm – polar opposite children in their respective elements.

So, without further ado…

The Hubs had to work a few days when we first got into town so we spent our first day back with Auntie J and Baby Z, and the afternoon at The Magic House.

This was C’s favorite – the play vet clinic.  She threw a full-on tantrum on the floor when we had to move on to the next area, claiming that the doggies didn’t want her to leave.

The next day I took the girls to Grandma and Grandpa’s new house for some baking.  My parents just moved back to the STL area this past summer, which makes for easily-shared time with both sides of the fam.

I will admit that I had a bit of a food agenda while in the ‘Lou.  There are certain things that STL is really good at and that I’ve missed terribly, that we’ve been unable to find out here in SoCal.  Pizza, for one thing.  Non-chain, good quality, unique pizza.  The Hubs brought home Dewey’s Pizza one night for dinner.  Oh how I love that man!  We also got Imo’s Pizza takeout for lunch one day.  Hmmm… so good!

Frozen custard is another STL speciality.  We met up with my old college roommate after dinner one night and headed to South City to Ted Drewe’s for custard.  I ordered The Big Apple, which is a slice of apple pie all blended up into vanilla frozen custard.  Two words here people: PIE CRUST.  I do believe it has surpassed my previous favorite, The Great Pumpkin (pumpkin pie slice with custard), but either way those big chunks of pie crust get me every time.

We were also able to get a couple of date nights in, for which we were LONG overdue.  Fulfilling yet another restaurant request on my list, we had a lovely dinner at Acero in Maplewood, where my fabulous brother-in-law waited on us and as always, showed off his mad skills.  I tell you, that guy loves what he does and he easily shines as top notch against all of the other servers there.  After that long and leisurely dinner, we opted for a late movie.  A 10:15 showing of Lincoln.  Which is a a two and a half hour movie.  I will admit here, as embarrassed as I am about it, that I slept through most of the movie.  That had absolutely NOTHING to do with the movie, but that fact that I cannot do late movies anymore.  I don’t know what I was thinking, because it’s no different at home either, so I think we’ve learned our lesson.

We spent Christmas Eve brunch at Nanny’s new place with all the Hub’s siblings and their families and did a little gift opening.

And then did our traditional Christmas Eve later that day with the Hubs family at Papa’s house.

We wear our red lipstick so well, wouldn’t you agree?

The Hubs’ Secret Santa (his brother, Jeff) bestowed upon him whiskey and chocolate – PERFECT!

M enjoying snuggles with cousin, Dylan.

CANNOLI!!!

Poor C hit a wall and was so sleepy.  She hung in there probably a good hour and a half past her limit…what a trooper!

It just wouldn’t be a family get-together without some live music.  We have some amazingly talented family members!

On Christmas morning we explained to the girls that Santa had made a few stops for them. We opened gifts at Papa’s and then headed over to Grandma and Grandpa’s for Christmas, where we stayed for the remainder of our trip.

While at my parents’ house we had a chance to get together with aunts, uncles and cousins on my mom’s side for an afternoon.  To round out our food fest we also visited nearby historic Kimmswick, MO for lunch at The Blue Owl, which is known for its Levee-High Apple Pie.  I personally opted for a slice of peach crumble, but the Hubs took in the famed slice, if you can even call it that.  The lemon meringue that my mom ordered wasn’t exactly tiny either.

The girls were very excited that we were able to see a bit of the white stuff while in town.  We had a couple of inches of snow on the ground and more still coming down as we headed out one evening for dinner with friends to Trattoria Marcella in South City.

Aside from M boycotting all public potties for the entire day of travel on the way to STL (that girl has a steel bladder) the girls were fantastic travelers yet again, and all in all it was a great trip.  We were excited to get back home though, to our Jenna-dog and to a few lazy days of just the four of us before 2013 kicked into high gear.

Thankful

… For my legs, lungs and motivation that took me 6.2 miles around Dana Point early yesterday morning, and helped me cross that finish line to a new PR of 1:01:36.

… For my belief in God that without hesitation led me into prayer mid-run for the man who had to be cared for by paramedics during the race yesterday.

… For my husband, who not only insisted on the whole turkey (“because it’s tradition”) but who also was not afraid to stick his hand inside that 10 pound bird yesterday to prep it for the oven.

… For munchkins who just are who they are, cute as can be, even when they’re fighting with each other or screaming like banshees.

… For technology that allowed us to speak with AND see family yesterday.

… For my husband, his siblings and their spouses, who embody admirable grace and strength in holding each other up during difficult times.

… For talent and partnership in the kitchen that helped us to successfully conquer a turkey, all the sides and three pies to make our Thanksgiving meal for the four of us feel just like it should.  (And a few glasses of wine didn’t hurt either.)

… For a snippet of Dateline we caught late last night, that soberly and appropriately reminded us how things (financially, personally, all of it) can change in an instant and bring people face to face with poverty.

… For a SoCal Thanksgiving here all on our own.  Although we missed everyone in STL, it was a very good thing for us.

Vacation catch-up (last one): Bits and pieces

Total roundtrip hours of travel: 14.  We had the longest way to come yet our trip required the least hours of travel.

Average time taken pre-beach/pool to apply sunscreen: 10-12 minutes by my estimation.  We were all – adults and kids alike – lathered up in high SPF daily with frequent reapplication as well.  So very different from how it was when we were all kids.

Miles I attempted to run in 90 degree plus temps and nasty humidity: five – attempted five, only made it through three and a half.  What the hell was I thinking anyway?

Child-free afternoons at the beach thwarted by thunderstorms: one.  But making brownies while listening to the rain was a good alternative.  And oh how I’ve missed a good storm!

Number of malfunctioning or just plain screwed iPhones: three – Julie’s phone decided to become a mute on the drive down, the Hubs’ took a swim, and John’s pulled an all-nighter outside in the rain.

Facial muscles strained from laughter and perma-grin at my sis-in-law Katie’s karaoke performances: several.  This girl was born to karaoke.  She’s amazing.

Long walks on the beach with the Hubs: just one, but quality of conversation wins over quantity any day.

And to come back to this is just awesome:

Days in the pool before C got up the courage to jump in to Daddy: only a few.

Little toenails that were painted for the first time ever: 20, and with hot pink polish too.  (I still can’t believe I didn’t get a picture.)

Adorable baby sitings: continuous.  Really, half-naked cutie pie running around in Chucks?  Irresistible.

Length of nap on the beach on our last afternoon (child-free yet again): almost three hours.  Absolute bliss.

Speed at which Jenna’s tail was wagging after we picked her up from the doggie hotel (she was at a “dog party”, according to M and C): incalculable.  She’s very happy to be home.

Until we meet again, Gulf Shores.

Vacation catch-up #2: Because “half-assed” is not in my vocabulary

The girls’ 3rd birthday is coming up this weekend, and I had really been struggling with what to do to celebrate.  Most of M and C’s classmates’ parties that we have attended over the past few months have involved an all inclusive party place but we just weren’t feeling it, partly because we still don’t know many of the other parents and families, and partly because I just couldn’t stomach the idea of a big party without our extended family there.  The concept didn’t feel right to me, and honestly made me quite sad.  I also couldn’t stomach “settling” for a ho-hum party without all the details that I so love to pull together.  So we decided on an early birthday shindig with the fam while on vacation.  The theme – Olivia the Pig, of course.  The Hubs came up with the awesome idea of a sandcastle building contest per the Olivia book, with competing teams based on each of the Hubs’ siblings and their families, followed by a birthday lunch back at the beach house.

The Hubs and I work so well together because he starts off with the big picture ideas and I take hold and run full force ahead with the details.  Lot of details.  Possibly more than the average person would even begin to entertain, especially since in this case we would have to get all the party stuff to Alabama with us on the plane, but my inability to half-ass anything ensures that my girls will always have memorable parties.  The upside of being a bit obsessive I guess.  I Pinterest-ed a boatload of Olivia-themed party decor and food ideas (yes, she is one popular partyin’ pig!) and literally starting pulling it all together about a week and a half before we left.  I work so much better with tight deadlines and a little bit of self-induced guilt/pressure.

The end result was a huge hit!  When you have 23 people vacationing together, aside from dinner each day, it really is rare for everyone to be together at once.  To see everyone heading out together that morning on the short walk down the street to the beach to help celebrate our little girls just warmed my heart.  And I again counted my blessings for being part of such a large, close family.

For the record, I adore this pic of C.  I can see the someday-teenager in her face when she smiles like this.  And the girl is getting my freckles too. LOVE.

Getting started… did I mention that our fam doesn’t mess around when it comes to competition?

Nice use of the surrounding sea plants to enhance their castle landscape.

Can you guess which team made the pig?

Goodness, how I missed these two ladies!

Because it’s just not a party without pig ears and noses!

The sandwiches at the back were a Pinterest recipe find and they were ah-mazing!  Everyone wanted the recipe.  These will definitely be my new go-to sandwich for get-togethers.

Red velvet cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting, recipe courtesy of Joy the Baker.  (And plain pita chips dipped in leftover frosting is pretty darn good too!)

I seriously could have eaten every last one of these dipped marshmallows all by myself.

Last-minute tops made from this tutorial.

Hammin’ it up for the camera, as usual (pun intended).

Yes, everyone else wore the ears and noses too!